The Second Time I Found Out I Was Pregnant

The Second Time I Found Out I Was Pregnant:

   I will get back to finish my birth story that I started about Evie, but right now I wanted to tell about when I found out I was expecting Jasmine. 

    I think when it is time for me to get ready for a baby God puts in my heart the ‘baby fever’, because both times I have been pregnant I started out with a bad case of the baby fever. Well, when Evie was around 10 months old I started longing to fill my arms with a newborn again. And when Evie was 11 months old I bought a pregnancy test and took it in due time. I waited in the bathroom for several minutes for the second red line to appear and it didn’t. I waited a couple more days and took it again, again it was a negative. Nubun had already said he thought I was pregnant because I was a tad bit grouchy, but after 3 failed tests Nubun started doubting.

   I gave up.  ‘Next month’ I told myself but after a few more days I knew my body was different and I went out to the Dollar Tree store with a friend of mine and I bought another test. I felt foolish, even silly but I just had to take one more test! It had been 10 days since I took the first one.  I got home and put Evie in her high chair and fed her a snack, and while she was eating her noodles, I took it.

 Then I tended to my baby and almost forgot about it. I picked it up casually, fully expecting to see only one red line. There were two lines!! I literally rubbed my eyes and looked at it again, yes! Two lines!! My heart skipped a beat. I felt the full impact of what that meant, I was having a baby! And my first pregnancy was full of doubt and disbelief that something THAT good could happen to me, but since it already did, I knew that it WAS possible for me to get pregnant and have a baby. So I didn’t have the shock and disbelief feelings running around in my head so I could fully appreciate the fact that I had just found out I was pregnant! I wished I could call Nubun at the time but he was at work, in a lab, so I just had to wait. And then the longer I thought about it this little idea was forming in my head. I went to Wal-mart and bought one last test, just in case that one had been a fluke. While I was there my excitement started overcoming me till I almost got dizzy. I got home and after that second line appeared I wrapped it up in pretty wrapping paper along side a pretty little newborn blue outfit (I just knew it was going to be a boy). That was a Friday evening. Next Tuesday was our fourth anniversary and I was going to give it to Nubun as a gift. Boy! That would have been fun, except for the fact that I have no patience. I underestimated the power of my secret teller. I always loved telling Nubun juicy secrets and there was nothing juicier then the fact that his wife was pregnant again. So I went to bed that night trembling with anticipation, I wanted to tell him sooooo bad!

    I remember that Friday night, I looked down at my sweet little 11 month old and I started to panic for her. She was still so tiny and she had never been away from her Mommy ever in her life. I was going to be in the hospital for a few days and what was Evie going to do? Who was going to take care of her? I cried, I panicked and cried some more.  Now I look back and think about how foolish I was God worked it out perfectly!

   That next Saturday we went out to eat then when we came back home I couldn’t handle this gigantic secret lurking inside me.

“I WANT TO GIVE YOU YOUR ANNIVERSARY PRESENT NOW!”

Nubun looked at me funny like. “It is not our anniversary yet.”

“I don’t care! Here it is.” And I handed him the box, but he refused to open it. I found out later he thought it was an Iphone, and he didn’t want me to be disappointed because I couldn’t wait till our actual anniversary day.

  I insisted till I almost got angry. Ok. He slowly opened it in front of me; I was sitting on the floor smiling from ear to ear in anticipation. So was he, he REALLY wanted an Iphone. When he came to the positive pregnancy test. He looked at it confused then asked me: “Who took this?”

Well, duh!

   I clapped my hands with excitement. “I’m pregnant!”

Then I reached up and hugged him, we held each other tight, and I will never forget that, he smelled like Irish Spring soap and T-Gel shampoo. I will never forget it because it made me nauseated.

   For my gift he gave me a surprise vacation to Akumal, Mexico. It was the very BEST gift I had ever received but it still couldn’t top mine!

                                            On our anniversary vacation.

   

  Every new life is a blessing, whether it is finding out you are pregnant or going to adopt a little one, they are all unique, beautiful and special in their own way.

    After I tell Evie’s birth story I will tell Jasmine, they are both so beautiful!  Then again, they ARE my babies so of course I would think that. Well, I better feed my babies now, and soon I will get on with my birth stories.

                                      I was already showing here at only 6 weeks!

Parenting Skills and Thrills, Making Memories and Memories Made: Part 2

Parenting Skills and Thrills

Making Memories and Memories Made

Part 2

  “Wear your Worth coat to go out” I told Nubun as he started to head outside to warm up the SUV. (He has a heavy coat with our church's logo on it)

    Jasmine poopied sometime last night and I didn’t find out till I took her diaper off this morning, her little bottom was bright red and hurting. I was so upset! The tube of store brand diaper rash ointment that we have is useless, I might as well be coating her with mud. Actually mud may do a better job! It is snowy, cold, and icy outside but Nubun is heading to the store to buy his baby some real rash ointment. He just came back inside.

“I forgot my wallet” he said then started looking for it talking about how cold it is outside. “Here, use my gloves’ I tell him.

“They’re too girlie” he says, but I convince him to anyways. Then I offered him my hat.

“NO! You crazy? That is waaay too girlie!”

He is such a good man, and Daddy too. Risking his life for the comfort of his little girls bottom.

  We were laughing the other day talking about some memories of his parents. What a thrill! I wouldn’t call it a skill, but definitely a thrill to hear. This one is about his Dad.

   When Nubun was a teenager growing up in Burleson he hung around the ‘egging’ group of kids in his neighborhood. They had just gotten back from egging a neighbor and he hid the leftover eggs in the bushes in his front yard then went up stairs to his room. It wasn’t long before the police came knocking at the Sangjun’s house. His Dad, (Boonmark) answered the door and was upset to see the cops there, Nubun knew exactly why they were there, and he hid out of site and was listening to their conversation. His blood was pumping fast and he was scared!

   The cops were telling his Dad that the neighbors were very upset about what Nubun had done and although they had called the cops that they didn’t want to “press charges”.

   It wasn’t a short conversation but Boonmark was seeing red! He was ANGRY! And Nubun was dreading facing his Dad. After the cops left Boonmark called Nubun down stairs. He was mad, he was livid!  And his English was not that good, so the only two words he got out of the cops conversation was: ‘Press Charges’ 

  “Nubun!” his Dad said: “Somebody stole my credit card and charged on it, and I know who it was!”

   Fortunately for Nubun, his Dad had totally misunderstood the cops and thought that when they said ‘charges’ they were talking about somebody had ‘charged’ on his credit card.

   Later on his Dad went outside and happened to find the little bundle of eggs Nubun had hidden in the bushes. He called Nubun once again. “Nubun, don’t touch those eggs. Some bird must have laid them here and if you touch them the mother bird won’t come back and they won’t hatch.”

    
   I have been told by a couple of friends that I need to write a conclusion to this story, so here it is. Actually there are two conclusions.
     Nubun was not a Christian back then but he did know better then to egg somebodies house, and although his Dad to this day does not know the truth about what happened that day long ago with the cops, there is a consequence to sin and you will get by with only so much before your sin, whatever it may be, will find you out.
  And if you are a parent and somebody comes to your house especially if they are cops, pay attention to what they are saying, and if you don't understand, ask questions. Don't jump to conclusions!.
     Stay warm folks. it's cold out there

                                            My Father in Law holding Evie Dec. 2010

                                                       He is such a good Grandpa!                              

Here he is holding Jasmine on the same day.

His granddaughters really love him!

Parenting Skills and Thrills. Making Memories

Parenting Skills and Thrills.

Making Memories

Part 1

   It is so much fun to be a parent. Everybody said to enjoy this stage of young toddlers and kids, and so Nubun and I have, very much so! It is an easy thing to do when you have a little two year old who says: “Thank You!” every time I ask her to pick up her toys, or hang up her clothes. She says: “Thank you” every time I tell her I love her, or give her a kiss or a hug. And sweet little Jasmine wakes up in the morning and just coos and plays with her toes, and when I lift her up out of her crib she lays her sweet little fuzzy head on my shoulder and pats my back.  Today I gave her a sippy cup with homemade apple juice and she said: For the first time: “Te Te” her version of ‘Thank you’

                    

    Last night there was a snow and sleet storm with very high winds and Evie was scared and came running to our room, and in her sweetest, and cutest little voice she said; “Mommy, I’m scared!” So Nubun held out his arms and I handed her to him. Such a precious moment!  I lied down in bed and got comfortable. It wasn’t but a few measly seconds before Evie was off her Daddy’s chest and on mine. She kept on moving and twisting and turning.

 “She can’t get comfortable” I hear Nubun’s voice in the dark.

“Nope, it’s not that, she is just too excited to settle down, she has a smile from ear to ear plastered to her face”

And so the next 45 minutes continued in like manner. She used me like a jungle gym, climbing all over me, and sticking her face in my face. I couldn’t sleep, Nubun was snoring softly and every time I opened my eyes her little eyes were less then three inches away and she never quit smiling!  I got tears in mine. I was tired, and worn out; I’m one of those people that need 8 and half hours of sleep each night to function properly the next day. But I knew that years from now I wouldn’t look back and remember how tired I was that night, but I will remember my little girl’s sweet face smiling at me just for the privilege of being with Mommy and Daddy.

   Nubun felt sorry for me so he went to her room and lied down in her bed with her and they both fell fast asleep in each others arms. I have a truly unique and caring husband!

   

   I went back to my bed and watched them in the monitor for a while and thought about the Bible study I had just had a few hours ago. How a lot of the blessings we pray for, and get, end up being our struggle in life and just a lot of hard work! And I have decided to concentrate on the blessings I have, and not concentrate on complaining because of the hard work they cause.

   My Mother is an amazing parent and woman; she is rarer then diamonds and rubies. She is more beautiful then a morning glory. Growing up she made my life rich with precious memories. One of them comes to my mind right now.

   When I was 19 and it was just mere days before I would fly the nest and leave home for good she asked me if I wanted to go to a coffee shop with her. It was later then usual for us to get out. But making special memories sometimes comes at the cost of getting out of your comfort zone and strict schedule and doing something out of the ordinary.

   So it was dark and we went down town to a coffee shop. We sat down at the only little table in the tiny little shop and we drank a cup of coffee each and shared a slice of cake. We talked and laughed as people would pass by us on the streets, cars were honking and the night crowd was making its usual noise but we were in our own girlie world, enjoying a Mother daughter time. After we left the Café we started walking down the street talking and as we were passing another Café, Mom said: “DO you want some more coffee?”

 “YES!”  And so we ordered two more cups of coffee and another slice of  pastel de tres leches (3-milk cake). We sipped our coffee and shared our slice of amazing cake. We giggled feeling silly and just plain wonderful!  After we left there Mom said she knew of another Café that was new and really nice. And so we headed over there. This little Café had several tables and chairs and it was even closed in with glass windows so we could still see outside but couldn’t hear all the ruckus. I remember the smell of this coffee, it was strong and aromatic, and this time we had this delicious cheese cake to share, and memories to treasure for a lifetime of enjoyment!

   That night after the excitement of our little adventure died down, I was climbing the walls from all that caffeine but I wouldn’t trade that night for anything in the world!

                            The Most Wonderful Mommy in the world, along with Evie and I summer '08

Two Generations

                                                 My Dog Louis La’Moure 2nd generation

                                                         My Dog Hunter first generation

As I watched Evie, my two year old, climb on the back of my 6 year old dog I start thinking about him, his heritage, and my history with him.  Louis runs away from the little cowgirl, and she falls off the saddle landing in the cushioned grass and laughing. My one year old comes up to him and he lays down and she sits on top of him and starts to poke his eye. Louis once more drops a girl in the soft grass and walks away, ever patient, ever gentle. I pat him on his head and scratch his tummy. Once again reminiscing I remembered when I was a 14 year old girl standing in my Mothers living room begging for a dog.

  “We don’t have room for a dog; there is no place to keep him.” My Mom would argue. My brother Nathan and I would get out my Moms 30 year old encyclopedias and search through the “D” section till we’d find ‘dog’. Then we would read about each race, learning all about them and we would drool over the pictures. We decided we wanted a Beagle. Mom never wavered on decision for the no dog policy. When I was 15 a friend of the family who knew that Nathan and I wanted a Beagle dog called us from the bus station. “Your dog is here, he is a Beagle and he is very pretty. Come pick him up!” And so Nathan and I could barely contain our excitement, on our way to the bus station we decided we wanted to name him “Hunter”. My Mom even smiled some, our excitement was THAT contagious.

   When I got out of the white suburban I saw him, in a tiny little dog carrier. Oh my! I wondered if there were two dogs, for I saw a head and a tail peeking at me through the carrier door all at once. Huh? My first glimpse of Hunter. He was doubled over in half because the carrier was really too small for him.  He was tri-color with little black spots everywhere.  We were not expecting him so all we had to feed him was some leftover fresh tuna that my uncle Mike had given us from one of his fishing trips. Hunter was so hungry and thirsty that he was going nuts over it. Unfortunately he was drugged for his 5 hour trip from Mexico City. They gave him a sleeping pill; actually it was a shot to make him sleep. So as he was trying to stand up and eat his tuna he kept doing the splits! It was so funny to watch! Finally Nathan held him up so he could eat peacefully.

   As the years past by, I loved my dog, and although he was given to me, Hunter claimed Nathan as his personal owner. Nathan would take him rabbit hunting, and he just liked him better. Nonetheless, I loved him very much.  I would take him to the local playground and train him how to climb up the latter and go down the slide. I taught him the usual tricks, shake my hand, give me five, give me ten, lie down, and sit, and so on.  I would walk him everyday and defend him from the street dogs. Sometimes he would escape from the house and run off after a female dog and Nathan and I would get on our bikes and spend hours searching for him. I would be in tears until we found him, often times he would be beaten and bloody but he was happy to be home. Hunter was very smart but as stubborn as a mule and very disobedient. But I would love on him nonetheless.

   One time he snuck in the house, ate my freshly made cheese taco and ‘layed claim’ on my bed (Yes, I am talking about using the bathroom in my bed!) I didn’t see him do it and I didn’t find out later on till I woke up in the middle of the night all wet and stinky. I never had enjoyed taking a hot shower at 2am before, well I did that night!

   Some of the fondest memories of Hunter were traveling to the States with him in the car. He had his own doggie passport and doggie bed to sleep in on the suburban floor. We learned right away not to feed him leftover venison or half spoiled milk, unless we wanted to make good use of our automatic windows.

   I was sad to leave him behind when I came up here to live, but I knew he would be better off down there where he had made a home.

                                                 This Is the last time is saw Hunter Dec. 2006

The last time I held him and I said good by to his grey haired doggy head.

He died in January 2008 at the ripe old age of 13

    Nathan later on got some more beagles and started breeding them, and when he (Nathan) asked me what I wanted for a wedding present from him I told him I wanted one of Hunter’s puppies. So that is what I got. Nathan brought to me this wiggly, active, sweet puppy, and he even smelled sweet and gave him to me just days before I got married. I named him “Louis Lamoure” after my Daddy’s favorite author. (Louis Lamoure wrote many western books, my Dad loved to read them all). I was afraid that Louis was going to like Nubun more then he did me, just like Hunter liked Nathan better. But no, he claimed me as his rightful owner, he also is smart, but not stubborn at all and a lot more obedient then his daddy, and although I love him very much, as an adult now, I haven’t had the time to train him and play with him like I did with his Dad, but I do enjoy him and the girls love playing with him. He instantly became a part of our family!

 Louis is also a very sweet dog, but afraid of his own shadow. He has run away many times when he’d get spooked by 4rth of July fireworks, thunderstorms, or boogie bears. I would always cry, and pray for his safe return.

  Last year on Jasmine’s little birthday party he got spooked by a balloon popping and he took off when the gate opened. I cried and Nubun went looking for him several times, finally he found him and brought him back home.

   Well, two stinking days later, our fence fell down and we had to put him in his dog carrier till Nubun fixed the fence. After a few hours I felt sorry for him and let him out to stretch his legs. And like a perfect idiot as I am I forgot about him for just two measly minutes. I remembered and ran outside, my heart started racing as I looked for him.

   He was gone. Once more he got out. I cried and cried, I felt like this had been my last chance, I felt like he was not coming back. I had a bad feeling. I felt like an idiot. Nubun was not very happy with me and I was mad at myself. After a few hours wallowing in guilt I decided to get in the car and go look for him. I dressed up the girls and went looking for him in the car; afterwards I was going to the grocery store. As I went up and down the empty streets of my neighborhood I started getting anxious. I rolled down the window and called for him again and again. After a while tears of frustration started stinging my eyes. “Louis! Louis!!”  and then “LOOOOOOOOOOOuis!!!!

  I finally gave up on my own ability to find him and I started praying. “I know this is my fault, and I know I don’t deserve to pray for his safe return AGAIN, especially since it is my irresponsibility that he is gone but could you please return him home safely?” I begged and begged in prayer as I drove up and down the streets. After a while my prayer started getting more fervent. “Please, have mercy on me! I know that a lost dog is not the most important thing there is out there. I know that there are bigger things I should be praying about and spending my time with but I beg you to have mercy on me and return my dog!” and then I added “Your will be done, I will give You the honor and glory no matter what, I will praise your name if Louis returns, I will praise your name if he doesn’t”  At that moment I had come to the end of my neighborhood, and I looked longingly all around and he was nowhere to be seen. I headed on down the road to the grocery store. I had given up on finding Louis, but I had peace in my heart and I started singing: “Praise the name of Jesus” and I couldn’t remember the rest of the words so I just kept on repeating those. I dried up my tears and immediately after I had repeated “Praise the name of Jesus” a few times my cell phone started ringing. I answered it and I could hear Nubun hollering on the other line: “Louis is back! Louis is home!!” I was so totally touched by my amazing God that I couldn’t speak, I just blubbered and cried hard and blubbered some more. God is the Creator and Savior over all, and he is so big but yet he heard my little humanly cries and answered my childish prayer. He really is GOOD!!  And that is just how amazing He is. I cried hard all the way to HEB, I cried not only because I was happy that Louis was home but that God truly does care about little things, and He really does answer simple prayers, even undeserving ones.

   So now as I look back on it all, I smile and dream about Evie and Jasmine growing up with their dog Louis, and maybe someday when he gets old I will keep one of his puppies and give it as a wedding present to one of my girls. Maybe?

My Ever Changing Life

I'm at that point in my life again. I don't like change, when things are going just so so in my life I don't want it to be any different. Today as I was sitting on my sofa watching my precious Jasmine sleep in the baby monitor and at the same time thinking of my sweet little two year old Evie sleeping in her bed. I was thinking of how blessed I was!

   

     Tears burned my eyes, as I remembered a Sunday night long ago when I was just a 15 year old teenager. I was on the balcony ledge right outside our house. I was talking to a preacher friend of ours.  As we were talking you could hear the pleasant racket coming from inside, it was full of friends and family from our old Baptist church there in Mexico.They were all laughing, joking, singing off key, playing Nerf ping pong, and drinking chamomile tea, munching on sweet bread while talking about the preaching, the Bible, or just ...life. I was smiling and happy as I looked through the window of our house at the hustle and bustle going on in there, it was a warm and inviting atmosphere. I was happy, and content with my life.

 

This is the patio ledge, and me when I was 15 with my Dad

   

     My friend must have notice the glow on my face and read my mind, because out of the blue he just said: "Andrea, things are going to change. They are not always going to be like this."

     I looked at him sadly and tears started to burn my eyes, I didn't like what he said but I knew it was true. Things always did change, that is the way God planned it. I didn't want it to change, I wanted life to be the same as it was that day.

    And after that, the years rolled by. As I left home to go to college, I thought of that night and those words my friend had said to me. For I left my Mom crying at the top of the stairs saying good by to me as I hopped down two steps at a time I looked longingly back at my Mom. I did not want to leave, I wanted to stay with my parents forever. But I had to go, Dad was waiting for me in the car and it was time. I left, I closed the metal door behind me and got into our old white Suburban. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I looked longingly back.

 

    When I would wake up in the morning to go to school or work in my early twenties I would think of how my life had changed so much. I missed Mexico, my Mom, my Dad the warm sweet chamomile nights. I'd cry, wishing my life wouldn't have changed so much.

   

    A few more years later when my sister called me to tell me Dad had fallen off a latter and had broken his legs, I cried. I didn't like the way life was changing. Two weeks later and just 2 months before I got married my Daddy passed away unexpectedly. I cried bitterly for a very long time.

    

     Life not only was changing but it also was not going the way I had planned it. As time went by I kept on recalling that day, that night when my preacher friend said to me. "Andrea, things are going to change, they are not always going to be like this." It has stuck in my head and in my heart throughout the years that have flown by. My life is so different now, but God has worked it out. God knows what is best for me, and as I sat on the sofa today with tears stinging my eyes once more, I cried, but this time because I was happy, again I am content that the change in my life has worked out so beautifully, the Lord has blessed me so much with the most thoughtful and kind husband, two precious healthy daughters and even though I know that my little girls are growing and changing as I write this. It will be OK. If the Lord tarries, and I stay in His will, someday I will look at my life and be happy and be content with whatever God has done with it.  I have so much more to learn, I have so much yet to do, I want to be wiser. I want to be a better wife and mother. I want to to be a better friend and witness to others. I just thank the Lord for holding my hand, helping me and always being there as I grow older, as the time changes and my years fly by.  Tears may always come to my eyes when I hear that old sentence again and again in my past, reminding me of my ever changing present, and my unknown future. But now I have learned to trust my Lord with my life.

 

  May my life be a glory to my Lord always. For the Lord is good and His mercies endures FOREVER

My First Experience With a Newborn

  

When I first was considering starting this blog I was thinking about so many memories I have from when I was growing up that I did not want to loose. Also, how so many things that happened to me way back then was preparing me for later on in life, as life’s trials usually do. I wanted to write down my memories and my blessings now before more time passed by and they would become foggier. 

   This has absolutely nothing to do with what I am getting ready to write about, but I just had to squeeze it in.  Just a little while ago I had a blue cup on the dinning room table with just a little bit of Jasmine's food (breast milk) in it and I left it on there for a second to go wash my hands in the restroom. Meantime, Nubun was sitting down at the dinning room table checking his work e-mail and drinking Sprite out of a 'blue cup', well, my sweet little Evie switched cups on him and he got a big sip of Jasmines liquid gold. I could  hear him hollering from the restroom!  I smiled as he told me the warm sweet 'stuff' instantly gave him a headache! Ok ok, now back to my story.

   I have two little ones and in the past 3 years I have been thinking a lot about babies, and the beautiful miracle of birth, and as I look back on my past I remember the first birthing experience I had. (actually, it was right after the birth)

     It was so different down there in Chilpancingo, so far from the comforts, conveniences and luxuries of the American way. The one I have in mind, even so, was still a beautiful time.

  

   I was 18 years old and I had no experience with a newborn, no knowledge on birth. I was soon to learn. It was August of 1998 Mom was up here in the States, Dad and Nathan were in Acapulco at the mission there. That day I was alone with my 10 month old little sister. Moises and Lulu, missionaries from our church were at the General Hospital in town having their first baby. He called me at my house to tell me she was about ready to have the baby.

 

    It was early in the morning, I quickly got myself and Sarah dressed and headed on down there through public transportation. I had to walk several blocks holding a chubby, bouncy baby along with our lunch and diaper bag. When I got there I found Brother Moises walking the halls. She was in labor but down there they wouldn’t let anybody, including the husband in the room with her. So we waited, and waited and waited for ten long hours. I would sneak in every once in a while, to the nurses station to try to find out how she was doing because they were not informative at all.  The nurses would get on to me every time they’d see me sneak in, and most of the time they were so angry at me for asking that they wouldn’t give me information about Lulu at all. It was a very long day.

        Finally I went home, put Sarah to bed and waited for Dad and Nathan to come back from Acapulco . ( Acapulco is only about an hour away, but I had no way of getting a hold of them).  About the same time they got back, Moises called and said Lulu had their little baby boy, he was healthy and a tad bit over 3 kilos. And they needed my help. It was late, after 11pm, but I went back down there. They wouldn’t let a man stay in the recovery room with Lulu because it was a shared room, and she was very weak and needed help. Moises asked me to stay with her. 

     As I walked into the hot dark room I was heart broken when I saw her. She was pale and tired and could barely hold her eyes open. The hospital did not supply a nursery for the babies so she had to keep the baby with her, even though she was too weak to even lift him up. She was in labor for over 24 hours and they wouldn’t let her eat or DRINK anything during labor! No ice chips down there! So she was also very dehydrated.  She had already fainted once trying to sit up so they wouldn’t let her get up after that.

  I was talking to Lulu and holding the baby when he started choking on his own mucus, he was trying to cough. Lulu panicked, and so did I. I didn’t know what to do.

    “LIFT HIM UP!! LIFT HIS HEAD UP!!” She yelled weakly at me. I quickly tilted his head up and put him on my shoulder and patted his little back. I walked quickly down the hall looking for a nurse. I saw one and blurted out “He’s choking!!”

  The sour faced woman gave me a disgusted impatient look. “Why do you say that he is choking?”

  “Well…”

  “Go take him back to his Mom!” And before I could open my mouth to explain she yelled at me. “GO TAKE HIM BACK TO HIS MOM” 

    I was confused, she didn’t help me but went about her business and so I took little Joshua back to his Mom. He quit choking and was OK but I was upset. Minutes later the sour faced nurse came in and pumped his nose and mouth out with the pear shaped rubber bulb. Then she looked at Lulu with the same impatient look she had given me. “Why did you say that he was choking?”  Lulu said that that was how he was acting. I made up my mind there I didn’t like that nurse! Little did I know what was going to come up next!!

   I changed his first diaper, and down there they don’t supply squat for the babies needs, you better bring them yourself or do without. I had bought some diapers, but that was all we had.  It was a poopy diaper; I had just taken his dirty diaper off and was getting ready to put a new one on when he started going again. There was no diaper on him yet so I quickly shoved my hand under there. It was a weird sort of poop (At the time I had never even heard of meconium) it was like an odorless molasses, and I was wondering what was the matter with the kid. We had no baby wipes, no water so I used what I had, some tissue paper and lotion (out of my purse) to wash my hands. Some Purel would have come in handy….

  It was around 2am and I had just searched the hospital for some water to drink. There was only one plastic cup, and four ladies to share it with, myself, Lulu, and two other ladies in the room that had just had their babies also, and no friend or family member to help them. I would give one a drink then walk back down the hall to get some more for the next. Every time I would fill up the cup I would drink some then fill it up again and give another a drink. They were all thirsty, there was no ventilation at all in that room so we were also all hot.

  One of the ladies had just delivered a still born baby, he came out with half of his face missing, it had never developed. Poor poor lady! She slept some but cried quietly most of the night. I helped her all I could but wouldn’t talk much to her because I knew she wanted to be left alone. Once she woke up hot, trembling and sweaty trying desperately to fan herself with a sorry excuse for a sheet. I asked her if she wanted me to wash her face with some water and she eagerly accepted. I had absolutely no rags or anything to wet so I just poured a little water in my hand and patted her with the tips of my fingers, and fanned her with my hands until she fell back to sleep.  The same I did for Lulu and I also did her feet. She not only was hot but also had a fever.

   At around 3:00, I sat down on the cool cement floor Indian style and leaned my head up against the wall, I was exhausted.  I started to doze off a bit when in the quiet of the night I heard a loud, bone chilling scream. I stood up and walked over to the door. They were wheeling in somebody in and they were in a rush. I couldn’t see much, and I was very frightened because the animal type screams kept coming and coming. It was a teenage girl that had been severely burned, by landing on the electric lines on top of the roof of her house. I got a glance of what hell would sound like; my heart was breaking for more reasons then one. For the poor girl, and for all the lost souls going to hell without hearing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She screamed for many hours.

    Nobody in that room, nobody in that hospital could sleep, I was pretty sure. I was miserable and yet I wanted to be there, I wanted to help, instead of being in my quiet comfortable room at home. The time crept by and the sour faced nurse came in to check on the ladies. I wondered if she had been chewing on sour pickles all day. She didn’t take any vital signs she just asked how they were doing.

   I got up the nerve and asked her about the girl that had been electrocuted. And she told me about her then started talking to me, needless to say I was a little surprised because I didn’t think she liked me.  I immediately realized she wanted somebody to talk to so I pulled up a couple of chairs and we sat down. So we talked, I was glad at first to have a time passer but after talking to her for a while I noticed she was just a young lady who needed Jesus. She talked about her daughter for a while, about her husband abandoning her, and then she told me all her life problems. She laid her burdens down, and cried. Finally she told me she would do anything to have peace with God, and I got my golden ticket to witness to her.  Her name was Sixta and she listened to me hungrily, she even prayed, but did not pray the sinner’s prayer. Sixta promised to go to church and asked me to go visit her. We exchanged addresses and she brought me a pallet to lie on and an extra robe to use as a pillow. Bless her!

   I looked at my watch when she was gone and we had been talking over an hour! And I had said I didn’t like her…

    Lulu could not sleep because she was so hot, so we talked quietly as I kept on bathing her face and feet with water. Around 4am she told me she needed to go to the bathroom. I helped her get up, and she walked to the bathroom herself. I walked beside her. We passed Sixta in the hallway and she told me to ‘Be Careful’.

  I thought I was. Lulu and I chatted like long lost friends as she was in the bathroom stall I was primping in front of the bathroom mirror. 

   “ANDREA!! COME HERE!!”

  I walked over to the stall. “What is the matter?”

  “COME HERE!!” She yelled again. I quickly opened the stall and grabbed her arm but I could not get a better grip of her because she was straddling the toilet and the stall was so small the door hit the middle of the toilet.

   She fainted.                             

   I grabbed her desperately but I had to get a better grip! She was going down and I could not hold her with one hand. I was afraid to pull on her that I would hurt her.  I wouldn’t let her fall! I wouldn’t! Finally I managed to get her close enough to me that her limp weight was up against my body and I hugged her for dear life. She was as limp as a rag doll. I tried to drag her out of there but she was heavy and she was bleeding. So I stopped.  I resorted to screaming for help.

  “Nurse!! Nurse!! Somebody help! HEEEEEEEEELP!!” But there was no one around. I kept hollering for help. “Somebody please! She fainted!! Help!!”

  A lady passed by and heard me and got help. Three nurses and a male doctor came in and helped put her in a wheel chair and wheeled her back to her room. One nurse looked at me and said:

    “Did you get scared?”

Huh? WAS I SCARED???! What kind of a question was that! I was scared out of my mind. I looked in the mirror and was shocked to see how pale I was. I had always read in books about people getting so scared their face turned white as a ghost. Well, I always thought it was just a saying, or exaggeration. I found out right then that it WAS TRUE. I had lost all color.  White as a spring ghost.

    Later on Lulu was better and I helped her nurse the baby, she knew nothing about nursing a baby. Obviously, neither did I. So I had to timidly ask the lady in the bed on the other side of Lulu how, she had been nursing her baby off and on all night. She showed me how and I told Lulu. She was still so weak that I had to hold the baby up to her to get her started. He latched on right away and ate like he was starved. Little Joshua nursed and it was a beautiful moment. God’s miracle of life, and the sweet bonding of a Mother and her new born baby is comparable to nothing else.

   I went home the next morning having slept nothing at all, yet I felt refreshed and alive. It wasn’t an easy night that night but it was a blessing to me. I learned so much, and it seemed like I had lived a lifetime in the short 11 hours I was in that hospital.

   That was 12 years ago, Moises and Lulu have four sons now and they are still missionaries to Atoyac in Mexico . Their ministry is growing and lives are being changed.  I got to see them again three years ago, it was a wonderful and tearful reunion. Neither one of us will forget that night.

Here is a picture of Moises and Lulu around 3 years ago with three of their four kids. They are standing in front of their church.

 

  I never saw Sixta again. I went to the address that she had given me, several times, hoping to see her but never did. Sometimes I wonder about her ‘Did she ever get saved?’ and I pray for her.  I was saddened that she didn’t at the time. I was not in the delivery room when Lulu had her baby, and I was hoping to be in the Heavenly delivery room as Sixta would be born again but she wasn’t, and I wondered if she ever would. Then I would remember a Scripture verse God placed in my heart that night and I would have peace in my heart: So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. Isaiah 55:11 KJV

Expecting My First Baby

     My First Pregnancy

  I just stood there in the bathroom staring at the stick. I couldn’t believe it! Me! Me! I was pregnant! A little baby was forming in my tummy, how is that possible? I couldn’t feel anything, yet everything at once. I was numb from shock, yet in my head I was too excited for understandable words. I stepped out of the bathroom, it was early in the morning and Nubun was still asleep. My throat was dry and my voice was squeaky as

I blurted out his name.

“Nuuuubun!”  It may have been the tone in my voice, or maybe it was his ‘man’ intuition, maybe it was just his imagination, but before his eyes popped open~ he knew. Yeah. He knew what I was Nubun-ing him about. He smiled real big as I showed him my stick with two pink stripes, I waved it in the air back and forth like a well earned trophy.

    Nubun, jumped out of bed and after looking at it, he grabbed my hand and led me into the living room where we bowed down on our knees in front of the couch and thanked the Lord for His amazing little blessing.

   The following 38 weeks was a lifetime lived in a few short months. My first symptom was this awful metallic taste in my mouth that lasted about 2 weeks. I had to constantly be eating something to mask the horrible taste in my mouth. Then I started getting tired, and then the dreaded nausea came. There is no way to describe it but like this. If you have ever been on a boat and got sea sick, you can come close to understanding. I was on a boat in Thailand once, got nauseated and threw up again and again in the wet little moving toilet. I was miserable, but at least loosing my lunch helped a little with the nausea but I was glad to land on shore and get off the floating misery. I dreaded getting on that boat again, just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach.  Well, my pregnancy was so many more times worse then that, in so many different levels that it is too hard to explain without sounding like I am exaggerating! Around 5 to 6 weeks into the pregnancy I started throwing up, if I went anywhere I would usually have to stop and use the ‘utilities’ at a gas station or Whataburger or so. The throwing up was bad enough but unlike when I was sea sick it did not relieve my nausea. I was ‘sea sick’ 24 hours a day for almost 7 months. There was NO RELIEF AT ALL. There were around three months where I only ate boiled potatoes, cheerios, and Ramon noodles and bland starches like that. Although I would throw them up, too, at least I could keep them down for 30 minutes or more and get some nutrition out of them. Everything else would come up even before they landed in my stomach. I couldn’t drink anything but Gatorade, and boy did I drink it! Around 2 to 3 gallons a day!!

   During and after I ate my meals I would have to sit very still and concentrate on not gagging. I tried hard to keep my food in for as long as I could because my baby and I needed a little more nutrition other then sports drink.  I couldn’t read books, magazines; my Bible or anything, reading made me more nauseated!  When Nubun would leave to go to work, I would cry every single time. I was left alone. I was lonely, alone and nobody came to visit. That, in part may have been my fault because I was vain. My house was a mess, I didn’t feel like cleaning it up and I didn’t invite anybody over because I was ashamed of the mess. But I missed human contact. I didn’t talk much on the phone, first of all I was so unimaginably miserable I didn’t FEEL like being cheerful and talking like a normal person, and when people would call and ask how I was doing all I wanted to do was cry and blurt my misery out on them. Someone even said that I wasn’t sounding very grateful to be pregnant because I wasn’t very happy. That hurt and cut me deeply.

  Tell somebody who is sick at sea, as they are hanging their head over the side of a boat with stomach acid propelling out of their mouth every time a wave hits. “You don’t look very happy” And see what their response is.

   I would brush my teeth, and that would gag me and make me throw up. So I would vomit, brush my teeth and vomit again. It was a vicious cycle, that didn’t last long. I was throwing up around 20-30 times a day. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING! I counted a few days just to see. I couldn’t brush my teeth that much so I constantly had that stomach acid taste in my mouth. And it DID hurt my teeth; the acid ate away at the enamel of my 8 front teeth. They got de-calcified, with ugly yellow holes in them.  I was constantly drinking sweet Gatorade which also didn’t help my pearly whites, yet that is what saved me from getting dehydrated.

   We were not doing very good financially at that time either, we were going through a very very rough time. I no longer worked and Nubun's over time got eliminated at that time. So we went down to 25% of our usual income. We could barely even afford the Gatorade. Nubun didn’t say much, never complained, but a couple of times he did mention selling our RX300, which was the only family friendly car we had. I would get really down in the dumps; I would even say I was in a dark place in my life. I was excited to be pregnant but the first half of my pregnancy I didn’t FEEL pregnant I only felt sick, so I had trouble BELIEVING it. I know that sounds strange but it was true. The Lord was my strength, and Nubun was by my side as much as he could. He would hold my hair back as I would be bent over the toilet. He would clean up the mess when I didn’t quite make it to the bathroom. He always listened to my vocal sobs. He was my best friend, my companion, my nurse maid. He would sneak out at night while I was sleeping and go to Wal Mart to get me a variety of different foods to try and find something my tummy could handle. I, to this day, still thank the Lord for my husbands help and understanding during those rough months.

   When I was growing up my Mother had intestine problems. Sometimes I would lie in bed crying helplessly as I would hear her moan all night long suffering from nausea and intestine pain. Several times during the night Daddy would help her to the bathroom where she would throw up again and again until she would have nothing but painful dry heaves left. She told me several times afterwards that she would most always prefer pain over nausea. I didn’t understand then. But later on as my belly grew bigger and bigger, and I would find myself looking at the inside of the toilet more often then not. I understood. And just as my Mom, my tummy would be empty and have nothing left to give but painful dry heaves. When that would happen I would reach over with a trembling hand for my jug of water and I would gulp down as much water as I could so that I would have ‘something’ to throw up besides dry heaves. When I would get through with a round I would sit back on my heels and breathe, then I’d pull my hair back and clean the toilet. Then I would stand up and rinse my mouth out with water wishing I could brush my teeth but not daring. Sometimes I would just lie down on the bathroom floor waiting for the strength to get up; sometimes it wouldn’t come so I would crawl back to my bed or the couch.

    There was a point where my tears would dry up, I had cried them all, my misery was too much for me to handle, and there was not a break in my morning sickness. I couldn’t lie down, I couldn’t lean to the side, because it felt as if my lungs were collapsing, and I couldn’t breath.  My chest was burning to the touch; I had to keep ice packs on my chest to calm down the fever. And what got me the most, more then anything is that I didn’t have a friend to get through this with, a girlfriend, and one that had similar symptoms that could truly and whole heartily understand. I felt alone. To this day I don’t think anybody could understand what I went through those long hard months, and sometimes I long to hear somebody tell me they understand, they went through the same thing, it is OK! Yes, Evie is 2 and a half and I still long to hear somebody say that. Not that I have to have somebody’s approval but maybe just their understanding? Maybe just an:  “I was there I know how you felt”

      Our Baby Shower

What we sent out as thank you notes for the gifts from the baby shower

 

   One day when I was around 6 months pregnant I woke up and I felt, nothing. As I am writing this I have tears in my eyes thinking of that morning. I felt NOTHING, no nausea, no chest burns and pain, no lung collapsing feeling, I felt ….normal. I jumped up out of bed and over on Nubun.

  “Nubun! I feel good, I FEEL GOOD! Get up! Let’s DO SOMETHING before the ole MS comes back! Come on!!” I was smiling and dragging him out of bed. I put on a pretty maternity outfit and we went to the Botanical Gardens where he took cute pictures of me. I was so happy! Even when ole morning sickness started calling I was in a rosy mood. We were in the rose garden when it hit me and I told Nubun, he helped me up, I had trouble walking, and even though I was nauseated again, I couldn’t quit smiling. What a beautiful gift God had given me that day, the gift of RELIEF. 

   I had a healthy pregnancy, all my morning sickness was not a bad thing. For some women it is just something they have to go through. If you are a woman and have been pregnant before with no or very little morning sickness, be thankful. And me, I am thankful for being able to get pregnant and have healthy kids.

   My pregnancy was not all bad, it was also wonderful and awe inspiring. When I could start reading books and started looking at all the pregnancy information out there I was so excited! We would go shopping and buy little baby clothes, it was such a precious time in our life. When we first heard her little heart beat, mine would start beating a little faster with the growing excitement. And I would look at the pictures of how my baby looked like that week and I couldn’t wait till one more week so she would look more and more human and less alien, and every week on Friday I would be proud of myself that I was a week further in my pregnancy, and my baby was a week older. And when I started feeling her move and kick, around the 17^th week I finally FELT pregnant!  At week 21 I found out we were having a baby girl and there is no feeling in the world like that! And when I saw her little face in that black and white sonogram I felt like a mother, finally!

  Something funny, when I was around 7 months pregnant I could finally drink milk. And BOY did I!! I drank (and have a picture to prove it!) a gallon of whole milk a day, EVERYDAY for a very long while. Yep. I gained 9 pounds that month. One time in my third trimester I was in the kitchen getting ready to blend up something in the blender, and when I turned it on Evie jumped in my tummy at the loud noise! I turned the blender off and looked at my tummy. Really? I couldn't believe it so I called Nubun and he came in there and put his hand on my tummy and I turned the blender on again and she jumped again! We got a kick out of that, and till the day she was born she would jump at any loud noise, so I would try to shield her from loud noises I didn't want her coming out all nerve racked!
   On December 6th, we went to go get a sonogram to see what gender my baby was and we got it all on video. It was so wonderful the feeling I got when I found out she was a girl! And she looked so cute in that sonogram! And then as an added bonus that evening after the sonogram, Nubun felt her for the first time! It was such a sweet time and so very euphoric!

  It was very fun and entertaining to have a moving, living, growing being inside me! I remember the first time Evie got the hiccups; I wasn’t sure what it was for a while but after a few days I figured it out and it was so cute! I would lie down in my bathtub as well as I could, because my tub was small and I would just stare at my hiccup ping tummy and smile. Then as she was getting bigger I felt like I had a watermelon inside me that kept on deforming my middle, it was weird for me, it cracked me up every time I’d look down at my biggie sized bellybutton. There were times of the day she was more active then others and when she would start getting active I would sit down on the sofa, uncover my belly and just watch it move as Evie got her ‘exercise’ in. It was very entertaining! Nubun would call me from work and ask how I was doing and I would say: “I’m sitting on the couch watching the greatest show on earth! And Evie is doing gymnastics!” and then it would usually follow with a “Well, she just did some jumping jacks on my bladder so I got to go…”

    What a blessing, right before I had Evie, God answered our prayers and Nubun got a raise at work, for us it was a rather large one and all in God’s timing. Praise the Lord! He took care of us!

   A lot of times I would talk to other women about their pregnancies and many of them had perfectly breezy pregnancies, No morning sickness, (or just the first three months) no mind boggling, ever ending nausea, no feverish chest pains, or any of that. They could sleep lying down like a normal person. (I had to sleep sitting up from 6 weeks on) They could carry on with their life as usual, some would even say that the only thing different about them was their big belly. This would always get me down emotionally, and even though I had no control over it sometimes I felt as if something was the matter with me. Like if I was the only one in the world that suffered like that while with child. And in turn it would make me lonely. My first pregnancy brought me to my knees, it humbled me, it amazed me, and it frustrated me. But God had a reason for letting me go through all that, and now I know, as I look back, I understand, I learned to rely on Him, I needed to learn that. I also learned to be more understanding for others suffering, God tenderized my heart, now I can see people suffering and I can truly FEEL for them, especially now, a lot more then before. I have a more tender heart because of it.

 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Psalms 127:3

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:14

   ....thou art my God from my mother's belly.