I had already been suspecting it for over a week. There was a change in my body and it just felt different, my body heat was higher and I had body aches that sort of felt like growing pains. It really wasn't time to take the test yet but I took it anyways. Patience is not a grand virtue of mine.
After I took it I walked to the kitchen and tried not to think about it too much. I was waiting for Nubun to tell me whether or not the second line had appeared. Since I got to see the results of Evie and Jasmine's pregnancy test first in the past Nubun asked me if this time he could look at the results first. I sat down and Nubun came up to me.
"I'm sorry hun, but there is only one line. I still think you are pregnant though it's just too soon to tell just yet." He hugged me as I felt two big ole tears well up in my eyes. Throughout that Saturday I would go back to the test, look at it straining my eyes to see if another pink line had magically appeared. Finally after a few hours of feeling silly I tossed it in the trash. Two days later I took another one and Nubun said the same thing. Once again a obsessed with the test, staring at it this way and that, twisting it in different directions in the light. Aha! I saw a faint white line. Yes. I said white. But it was a line nonetheless. I put the test down and didn't look at it again for several hours. After Nubun had gone to work that day and I was giving the girls their bath I just had this feeling, a peace in my heart, I wasn't crazy I WAS pregnant and I knew it! I silently thanked the Lord for His blessing. That night before going to bed I happened to glance at the test one more time. I blinked. There in the results window there had appeared a very faint second PINK line. Now I know you are not suppose to read results after ten minutes but it really didn't matter, I already knew.
I went to bed that night with a big ole smile plastered on my face, and joy in my heart. The next day I took another test, and again the day after next. Both times the second line was very very faint, to see it you had to look very close and use some imagination. I felt very frustrated and silly all at the same time.
That day was beautiful outside, it was white with ice and snow, we had ran out of tests so Nubun got in our Lexus and headed off to buy ONE MORE TEST. As soon as he got back home I took it.
"Well?" I asked Nubun. He looked at me trying to not smile. "It is the same" he said "It is just too fainted to tell. You just aren't pregnant."
I frowned. "It is called 'faint' not 'fainted'! Now let me see it!"
"No!" he said and started to run away. I was quick though and snatched it out of his hand, then he was chasing me around the house. When I would lift up the test to see the results window he would grab my arm and start shaking it to where my eyes couldn't focus.
"Nubun! Stop it!" I laughed and finally got a clear view of the second pink line.
Although I already knew it felt real good to finally get some proof. We hugged each other and thanked the Lord for our newest tiniest little member of our family.
It doesn't matter if you are finding out for the first time, the third time, or the twenty third time each and every pregnancy and baby special and unique in it's own way.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Evie’s Birth Story
People walking by stopped and looked at me, I saw pity in their eyes. I didn’t care I was wrapped up in my own misery, pain, discomfort, and sheer joy! We were at the mall, and Nubun was encouraging me to walk. I was 40 weeks and a day pregnant, and as round as a butterball. I hardly walked it would be more appropriately described as ‘waddling’. I felt like the baby was going to fall out of me if I didn’t walk half crossing my legs. Every Braxton and hicks, was very painful. I’d stop and pretend to be concentrating on looking at something intently. Nubun, would stop with me, try to see what I was looking at then give up when it wasn’t interesting enough. He would pat my tummy and encouraged Evie to come out already.
That was on a Saturday evening, and that night I woke up several times with labor pains. It was very frustrating, I would wake up with pain and when it would go away I would have to go to the restroom I would come back, lay back down on the sofa because I couldn’t get comfortable in bed, start to doze and have to go pee pee again. It was a vicious cycle! The next day we went to church, I felt energetic and good, but every once in a while I would stop while walking down the hall and slightly double over with a contraction, straighten back up and go on into church. Every time I would have a contraction, even though they were irregular and far between Nubun would always say: “Soon Hun, soon!” And I would smile and feel accomplished. That Sunday afternoon we went behind the church where there were some beautiful spring flowers and he took my final maternity photos.
That night I was having regular contractions, and Nubun slept beside me on the floor and timed them till he was exhausted and fell asleep. They had started around 2:30 in the morning but I was disappointed when my contractions stopped around 6:30.
That Monday morning we went to see my doctor. Tears came to my eyes when I found out my cervix had not thinned out at all and I wasn’t dilated any. I was SOOOOOOooo ready to have this baby! She said that they were going to induce me at the hospital, that they would call and tell me when. I didn’t want to get induced but I didn’t say anything at the moment. Nubun asked me where I would like to go eat lunch and I picked a little country café. While we were there my doctors office called and told me to be at Baylor’s All Saints at 8 that night to be induced. When I hung up with them, I was numb with fright, and out of my self with excitement! I ate all my chicken fried chicken and was finishing up with my chocolate cake when I looked up at Nubun and said: “You know, in just hours we are going to meet our little girl we are going to see her face for the first time!! We are going to be parents!” He was seeing stars with the thought of meeting his daughter so soon. So was I.
And then we paid with my Discover card and with all the cloud nine bliss we were going through we didn’t even notice that they stole it till days later.
On the way home from the restaurant I started having second thoughts and doubts about getting induced. I called two friends of mine both were nurses in the labor and delivery department at the hospital. They both discouraged me to get induced giving me the pros and cons of doing so. I started crying, not knowing what to do and scared of my doctor. Finally when we got home I was in a mess, I mustered up the courage to call my doctor: “I don’t want to be induced.” I said sweetly. “Why not? I am the doctor, not you. The sonogram said your baby is big, at least 9 pounds, and you are over due!” She was mean and a bully, I cried on the phone and ended up giving in: “Ok, I will see you at the hospital” she didn’t say anything just hung up.
I had made my decision and decided to be happy about it. I took a long warm shower and lied down to get a nap. Nubun kneeled down beside me and rubbed my tummy. He had tears in his eyes as he told me that in a way he was going to miss having Evie in my belly, that this was the end of our pregnancy. We were not going to be able to see her deform my midsection with her acrobatics, and watch her hiccup and make my belly button dance in harmony. A flash back of the last nine months went by I had been brutally sick, nauseated, uncomfortable, and miserable. I couldn’t eat properly, couldn’t sleep comfortably, and I waddled instead of walked. My teeth were in bad shape, a lot of my hair had turned grey, and I had enough stretch marks on me to build a road map, and yet even so, it was the most wonderful and glorious 9 months of my life! Sweet tears also came to my eyes. He was so tender and loving that it calmed my trembling heart and silenced my fear of labor. I never felt closer to my husband then at that very moment. I knew everything was going to be ok, God was on the throne, and He still cared for me.
My Mom, Damara, Sarah, Tiffany and Jared came by and they gave me a hug and kissed me and the kids gave me some pictures they had colored. It was an encouragement to me. Then after they left it was time to go. We got in our SUV and headed on down the road to the hospital.
I felt every bump, pot hole and turn in the road. I started labor, all the way to the hospital I was having regular contractions, and this time they never did stop.
It took them a while to get my room, but they finally did and they sat me in a wheel chair and rolled me in there. The first thing I saw as the door to our room opened was the little plastic baby bed. I started jumping out of my skin with excitement, my heart was racing and I started breathing faster. One more wave of reality hit me when I realized that soon my baby was going to be in that bed! I felt like I was floating in the clouds looking down at someone else’s life, it was all too good and exciting to be mine!
I donned on the skimpy hospital robe, and signed some paperwork. I don’t remember much from this time because I was in so much pain, but I do remember the nurse coming in to give me an IV. She was on one side of the bed getting ready to stick me and Nubun was on the other side holding my hand.
“Be gentle with her.” He begged “She is a little bit nervous” I was, but nothing like him! The nurse smiled as she put the stretchy rubber band thingy around my arm.
“She will be fine.” I was, she was good and I didn’t even feel a thing, but Nubun on the other hand wasn’t doing that great. He never did quit squeezing the life out of my hand and his face turned white.
Our nurse for the night came in she was a pretty blonde probably younger then me that had a cheerful, caring and sweet attitude. Unfortunately she didn’t have the ‘experience’ of a veteran nurse. She was going to check and see if I had dilated any on my own before she gave me the Cervadil. I always hated, well, it was beyond hate, and I LOATHED getting checked for dilation. It hurt.
Boy oh boy oh boy did it hurt! She started out calmly with a sweet smile but when she couldn’t feel anything she started getting this concentrated look on her face and started digging deeper with her two fingers. I thought she was going to drill a hole right through me and was going to come out my nose. I was trembling from head to toe, my legs were shaking. She looked at me and smiled again as she told me to relax. Was she nuts? I did try but it was positively impossible to relax. I saw her frowning with concentration, then I closed my eyes wishing all along for a more experienced ‘dilation checker’.
And I hadn’t dilated any. So she inserted the Cervadil, and said that I would be cramping all night long and gave me an Ambien (sleeping pill) so that I would get some rest. Cramping? Yeah right! My foot! I wished it was just cramping.
My labor pains were strong and constant, and I had to go to the bathroom very often. I would get up, Nubun would help me then I would stop and double over in pain I would wait for the contraction to end then I would head to the toilet when I would get there, which took me about 15 seconds I would have another contraction.
After I used the bathroom I would wash my hands then by the time I reached the door another contraction would hit me and I would double over in pain again. This was basically what took place all night long, no let up, no rest and DEFINITELY no sleep, even with a sleeping pill.
From then on my memories get little foggy thanks to that stupid sleeping pill. All it did was add to my misery I was a drunk woman in an ocean of pain, labor pains were going over me like tsunami waves.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Second Time I Found Out I Was Pregnant:
I will get back to finish my birth story that I started about Evie, but right now I wanted to tell about when I found out I was expecting Jasmine.
I think when it is time for me to get ready for a baby God puts in my heart the ‘baby fever’, because both times I have been pregnant I started out with a bad case of the baby fever. Well, when Evie was around 10 months old I started longing to fill my arms with a newborn again. And when Evie was 11 months old I bought a pregnancy test and took it in due time. I waited in the bathroom for several minutes for the second red line to appear and it didn’t. I waited a couple more days and took it again, again it was a negative. Nubun had already said he thought I was pregnant because I was a tad bit grouchy, but after 3 failed tests Nubun started doubting.
I gave up. ‘Next month’ I told myself but after a few more days I knew my body was different and I went out to the Dollar Tree store with a friend of mine and I bought another test. I felt foolish, even silly but I just had to take one more test! It had been 10 days since I took the first one. I got home and put Evie in her high chair and fed her a snack, and while she was eating her noodles, I took it.
Then I tended to my baby and almost forgot about it. I picked it up casually, fully expecting to see only one red line. There were two lines!! I literally rubbed my eyes and looked at it again, yes! Two lines!! My heart skipped a beat. I felt the full impact of what that meant, I was having a baby! And my first pregnancy was full of doubt and disbelief that something THAT good could happen to me, but since it already did, I knew that it WAS possible for me to get pregnant and have a baby. So I didn’t have the shock and disbelief feelings running around in my head so I could fully appreciate the fact that I had just found out I was pregnant! I wished I could call Nubun at the time but he was at work, in a lab, so I just had to wait. And then the longer I thought about it this little idea was forming in my head. I went to Wal-mart and bought one last test, just in case that one had been a fluke. While I was there my excitement started overcoming me till I almost got dizzy. I got home and after that second line appeared I wrapped it up in pretty wrapping paper along side a pretty little newborn blue outfit (I just knew it was going to be a boy). That was a Friday evening. Next Tuesday was our fourth anniversary and I was going to give it to Nubun as a gift. Boy! That would have been fun, except for the fact that I have no patience. I underestimated the power of my secret teller. I always loved telling Nubun juicy secrets and there was nothing juicier then the fact that his wife was pregnant again. So I went to bed that night trembling with anticipation, I wanted to tell him sooooo bad!
I remember that Friday night, I looked down at my sweet little 11 month old and I started to panic for her. She was still so tiny and she had never been away from her Mommy ever in her life. I was going to be in the hospital for a few days and what was Evie going to do? Who was going to take care of her? I cried, I panicked and cried some more. Now I look back and think about how foolish I was God worked it out perfectly!
That next Saturday we went out to eat then when we came back home I couldn’t handle this gigantic secret lurking inside me.
“I WANT TO GIVE YOU YOUR ANNIVERSARY PRESENT NOW!”
Nubun looked at me funny like. “It is not our anniversary yet.”
“I don’t care! Here it is.” And I handed him the box, but he refused to open it. I found out later he thought it was an Iphone, and he didn’t want me to be disappointed because I couldn’t wait till our actual anniversary day.
I insisted till I almost got angry. Ok. He slowly opened it in front of me; I was sitting on the floor smiling from ear to ear in anticipation. So was he, he REALLY wanted an Iphone. When he came to the positive pregnancy test. He looked at it confused then asked me: “Who took this?”
I clapped my hands with excitement. “I’m pregnant!”
Then I reached up and hugged him, we held each other tight, and I will never forget that, he smelled like Irish Spring soap and T-Gel shampoo. I will never forget it because it made me nauseated.
For my gift he gave me a surprise vacation to
. It was the very BEST gift I had ever received but it still couldn’t top mine! Akumal, Mexico
On our anniversary vacation.
Every new life is a blessing, whether it is finding out you are pregnant or going to adopt a little one, they are all unique, beautiful and special in their own way.
After I tell Evie’s birth story I will tell Jasmine, they are both so beautiful! Then again, they ARE my babies so of course I would think that. Well, I better feed my babies now, and soon I will get on with my birth stories.
After I tell Evie’s birth story I will tell Jasmine, they are both so beautiful! Then again, they ARE my babies so of course I would think that. Well, I better feed my babies now, and soon I will get on with my birth stories.
I was already showing here at only 6 weeks!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Parenting Skills and Thrills
Making Memories and Memories Made
“Wear your Worth coat to go out” I told Nubun as he started to head outside to warm up the SUV. (He has a heavy coat with our church's logo on it)
Jasmine poopied sometime last night and I didn’t find out till I took her diaper off this morning, her little bottom was bright red and hurting. I was so upset! The tube of store brand diaper rash ointment that we have is useless, I might as well be coating her with mud. Actually mud may do a better job! It is snowy, cold, and icy outside but Nubun is heading to the store to buy his baby some real rash ointment. He just came back inside.
“I forgot my wallet” he said then started looking for it talking about how cold it is outside. “Here, use my gloves’ I tell him.
“They’re too girlie” he says, but I convince him to anyways. Then I offered him my hat.
“NO! You crazy? That is waaay too girlie!”
He is such a good man, and Daddy too. Risking his life for the comfort of his little girls bottom.
We were laughing the other day talking about some memories of his parents. What a thrill! I wouldn’t call it a skill, but definitely a thrill to hear. This one is about his Dad.
When Nubun was a teenager growing up in Burleson he hung around the ‘egging’ group of kids in his neighborhood. They had just gotten back from egging a neighbor and he hid the leftover eggs in the bushes in his front yard then went up stairs to his room. It wasn’t long before the police came knocking at the Sangjun’s house. His Dad, (Boonmark) answered the door and was upset to see the cops there, Nubun knew exactly why they were there, and he hid out of site and was listening to their conversation. His blood was pumping fast and he was scared!
The cops were telling his Dad that the neighbors were very upset about what Nubun had done and although they had called the cops that they didn’t want to “press charges”.
It wasn’t a short conversation but Boonmark was seeing red! He was ANGRY! And Nubun was dreading facing his Dad. After the cops left Boonmark called Nubun down stairs. He was mad, he was livid! And his English was not that good, so the only two words he got out of the cops conversation was: ‘Press Charges’
“Nubun!” his Dad said: “Somebody stole my credit card and charged on it, and I know who it was!”
Fortunately for Nubun, his Dad had totally misunderstood the cops and thought that when they said ‘charges’ they were talking about somebody had ‘charged’ on his credit card.
Later on his Dad went outside and happened to find the little bundle of eggs Nubun had hidden in the bushes. He called Nubun once again. “Nubun, don’t touch those eggs. Some bird must have laid them here and if you touch them the mother bird won’t come back and they won’t hatch.”
I have been told by a couple of friends that I need to write a conclusion to this story, so here it is. Actually there are two conclusions.
Nubun was not a Christian back then but he did know better then to egg somebodies house, and although his Dad to this day does not know the truth about what happened that day long ago with the cops, there is a consequence to sin and you will get by with only so much before your sin, whatever it may be, will find you out.
And if you are a parent and somebody comes to your house especially if they are cops, pay attention to what they are saying, and if you don't understand, ask questions. Don't jump to conclusions!.
Stay warm folks. it's cold out there
My Father in Law holding Evie Dec. 2010
He is such a good Grandpa!
Here he is holding Jasmine on the same day.
His granddaughters really love him!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Parenting Skills and Thrills.
It is so much fun to be a parent. Everybody said to enjoy this stage of young toddlers and kids, and so Nubun and I have, very much so! It is an easy thing to do when you have a little two year old who says: “Thank You!” every time I ask her to pick up her toys, or hang up her clothes. She says: “Thank you” every time I tell her I love her, or give her a kiss or a hug. And sweet little Jasmine wakes up in the morning and just coos and plays with her toes, and when I lift her up out of her crib she lays her sweet little fuzzy head on my shoulder and pats my back. Today I gave her a sippy cup with homemade apple juice and she said: For the first time: “Te Te” her version of ‘Thank you’
Last night there was a snow and sleet storm with very high winds and Evie was scared and came running to our room, and in her sweetest, and cutest little voice she said; “Mommy, I’m scared!” So Nubun held out his arms and I handed her to him. Such a precious moment! I lied down in bed and got comfortable. It wasn’t but a few measly seconds before Evie was off her Daddy’s chest and on mine. She kept on moving and twisting and turning.
“She can’t get comfortable” I hear Nubun’s voice in the dark.
“Nope, it’s not that, she is just too excited to settle down, she has a smile from ear to ear plastered to her face”
And so the next 45 minutes continued in like manner. She used me like a jungle gym, climbing all over me, and sticking her face in my face. I couldn’t sleep, Nubun was snoring softly and every time I opened my eyes her little eyes were less then three inches away and she never quit smiling! I got tears in mine. I was tired, and worn out; I’m one of those people that need 8 and half hours of sleep each night to function properly the next day. But I knew that years from now I wouldn’t look back and remember how tired I was that night, but I will remember my little girl’s sweet face smiling at me just for the privilege of being with Mommy and Daddy.
Nubun felt sorry for me so he went to her room and lied down in her bed with her and they both fell fast asleep in each others arms. I have a truly unique and caring husband!
I went back to my bed and watched them in the monitor for a while and thought about the Bible study I had just had a few hours ago. How a lot of the blessings we pray for, and get, end up being our struggle in life and just a lot of hard work! And I have decided to concentrate on the blessings I have, and not concentrate on complaining because of the hard work they cause.
My Mother is an amazing parent and woman; she is rarer then diamonds and rubies. She is more beautiful then a morning glory. Growing up she made my life rich with precious memories. One of them comes to my mind right now.
When I was 19 and it was just mere days before I would fly the nest and leave home for good she asked me if I wanted to go to a coffee shop with her. It was later then usual for us to get out. But making special memories sometimes comes at the cost of getting out of your comfort zone and strict schedule and doing something out of the ordinary.
So it was dark and we went down town to a coffee shop. We sat down at the only little table in the tiny little shop and we drank a cup of coffee each and shared a slice of cake. We talked and laughed as people would pass by us on the streets, cars were honking and the night crowd was making its usual noise but we were in our own girlie world, enjoying a Mother daughter time. After we left the Café we started walking down the street talking and as we were passing another Café, Mom said: “DO you want some more coffee?”
“YES!” And so we ordered two more cups of coffee and another slice of pastel de tres leches (3-milk cake). We sipped our coffee and shared our slice of amazing cake. We giggled feeling silly and just plain wonderful! After we left there Mom said she knew of another Café that was new and really nice. And so we headed over there. This little Café had several tables and chairs and it was even closed in with glass windows so we could still see outside but couldn’t hear all the ruckus. I remember the smell of this coffee, it was strong and aromatic, and this time we had this delicious cheese cake to share, and memories to treasure for a lifetime of enjoyment!
That night after the excitement of our little adventure died down, I was climbing the walls from all that caffeine but I wouldn’t trade that night for anything in the world!
The Most Wonderful Mommy in the world, along with Evie and I summer '08