Wednesday, January 4, 2012
If You Looked in my Window
As I was putting the girls to bed last night I stopped in the middle of singing 'Only a Boy Named David' and just stared at them. I was having a thoughtful moment, and a knot came to my throat. I was tired, and at the time I actually felt old, because I was so tired. As I looked at them sitting there on their pillows looking at me with heir cute sweet baby faces, I was afraid to blink and miss this moment- this time in my life that I was so blessed to live.
Evie wrinkled up her eyebrow.
"Mom, is your mouth broke? I want more sing."
"Sing!" Jasmine echoed
So I resumed that song, and the rest of my bucket of nighttime kids songs. I prayed with them, holding Evie's hand and Jasmine's foot. My eyes were already closed when we grabbed hands and foot, I could claim that I hadn't noticed but in reality I was just too sleepy to care she had given me her foot instead of her hand. I kissed them good night and close the door behind me, but I don't leave. I knew their routine.
I open the door and get down on my knees, they both run up and get on my lap and lay their heads on my shoulders. I rock them like that back and forth while I hum one last song. We do that every night. Then I got up and went to my room. I brushed my teeth and went to bed. I talked to Nubun for a little till I heard his snoring. I rolled over and fell asleep. Around 1am I wake up to this strange yet familiar feeling. I open my eyes to see Evie's little face about 2 inches away from mine, she was staring at me. She opened her mouth.
"I know. You're scared. Go see your Daddy."
So if I was doing a good job as a Mommy I would have made her go back to sleep in her room. Instead I watched her climb up on top her Dad and fall asleep on his chest. He barely even woke up, he has a gift. He can sleep through anything and that's why I didn't feel guilty about sending her to him.
Well, not guilty enough to keep me awake.
The bed movement woke up Colleen. So I pick her up, kiss the top of her head and nursed her as I dozed. 2 hours later I take Evie back to bed.
After a while Nubun wakes up and gets ready for work, I hear him move about the room and know exactly what he's doing. He comes by my side of the bed and covers me with his favorite blanket and tucks me in, making sure my ear is covered too. He knows I cant sleep unless my ears are covered up too. I've been doing that since I was a teen ever since my brother woke me up to get a live bug out of his ear, now I'm forever terrified of something crawling in mine. He kissed me and left to go to work.
I hear his quiet foot steps in the hall, I hear the sound of the shoe motel drawer opening and he puts his keys in his pocket. Then there is a pause and I know what he is doing, feeling of his pockets and counting how many items are in there just to make sure. Keys, wallet, work badge....check. Then he opens the door and I can imagine the cool winter air hitting his cheeks. I cuddle up under his blanket for a few minutes then wake up and start my coffee.
Coco wakes up and I feed her, then lay her in the swing. I smell my coffee and know its ready and calling my name. I go get a mug and sit down for my devotions.
Afterwards I go to my room, intending to make up my bed. I was going to surprise my husband and actually have my bed made up when he got home this day. But as I walk in my room, and smell the Vicks aroma and hear the hum of the humidifier I can not withstand the urge to run and jump in my bed skidding under Nubuns green blanket. I shivered with pleasure as the warmth of it lures me back to sleep. I dreamed about making up the bed.
Then the bedroom door slings open and my two little loud girls come bouncing in. Oh well, I crawl out of my bed reluctantly and decided to make my dream come true. I made up the bed. Then I stand there looking at it as my chest swells up in pride, it looks so pretty made up! Jasmine tugs on my robe.
I turn around and pick her up and we all go to the kitchen. I make breakfast of eggs and broccoli. I couldn't wait till Nubun got home. Today we are going for my last midwife appointment and I was getting excited. I think about all I have planned for the day, and what I want to accomplish.
As I'm standing by my skillet full of scrambled eggs I look over at the table. The girls were fussing at each other for their favorite cup, Colleen was cooing and smiling in her bumbo seat making a very cute table center piece. I stop for another thoughtful moment, I get tears in my eyes and thank the Lord for my life, my family, and all my blessings.
So my life wouldn't be exciting for someone looking through the window, but it is all I have dreamed of, wanted and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Nothing could make it richer to live! Nothing!
Well. Perhaps a vacation to the beautiful beaches of Hawaii would be nice...
Now I need to get off this iPad and get some very important things done like go pull that cough drop out of Jasmine's hair, kiss the booboo on Evie's knee and nurse a certain little one...